i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
