He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
