The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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