I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
