This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
