i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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