You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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