i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
