people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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