Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
