He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
