I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
