I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
