What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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