Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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