Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
