I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
