I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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