hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
