Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
