i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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