Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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