I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
