Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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