He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pants are for mortals
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
