a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
