He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
