I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
