Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
