Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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