yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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