i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
