it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
