How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Someone came in the potted fern
whose parrot is this?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
