I need help removing her.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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