Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
