I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My liver just broke up with me...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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