it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
