Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
