Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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