dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
