I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
