you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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