Everything about him screamed your future.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize