rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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