you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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