You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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