i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
