i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
this just has baby written all over it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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