I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
