He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
