I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
