His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
