At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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