He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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