508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
