I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Terrible idea I love it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
