If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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