When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
