she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
