Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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