If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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