I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
is that a dick in a sweater?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
