Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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