It's Friday. Sex?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
