I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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